In your search for a great relationship, you shouldn’t just leave things to luck. There are many things that you can do that can enhance your dating experience. Unfortunately, though, there are also an awful lot of things that you can do to make sure that you’re a dating flop.
The following are the most common mistakes made by daters.
• The False Front – though it is important to look good when you’re dating, remember that you should always be realistic. If you do meet someone you like, you will be seeing that person a lot. In that case, you won’t be spending several hours getting ready every time. There is a difference between looking nice, and setting your date up for disillusionment. When you get ready, remember to be yourself. Look your best, look good, but make sure that it’s you in there! No false fronts.
• Availability – when you’re dating, it’s important to make yourself available when you find someone you like. After all, you’ve gone to an awful lot of effort to find a person who may qualify for a relationship. That person won’t stick around forever if you don’t put in some effort.
• Realistic Fun – relationships are often a lot of fun when they first get started. Everything is so fresh, exciting, and new. However, it doesn’t take long to discover that fun can only go so far. Make sure that you have other things in common, such as goals and values, if you want something long-term. Other than fun, you need to keep your eyes open for companionship, respect, love, and commitment. With those characteristics, you’re bound to have fun and a great relationship.
• Perfectionism – we all have our own fantasies about the right person. After building up this fictional Mr. or Ms. Right for so long, it can be hard to let a real person in. After all, real people are flawed. There is nothing wrong with having a dream. Just don’t let your dream block out a perfectly good person for a great relationship. Remember that it is our quirks and idiosyncrasies that make us special. Instead of rejecting them, treasure them when they come in a great person.
• Immediacy – a relationship isn’t something that happens instantly. Though you may want a relationship immediately, unless you give it time to grow, you’ll only be disappointed. Give yourself the opportunity to meet people, get to know people, like people, and find the right person. By rushing into a relationship, you’re setting up for a fall.
• Needs – though love is very important in a relationship, there is a lot more to it than just one emotion. The Beatles song “All You Need is Love” is sweet, but isn’t the key to a long-term relationship. You (and your partner) have many needs, and they all need to be met for things to work. Love is only one of those needs. You also need to remember responsibility, appreciation, trust, intimacy, and many other important factors.
• Time – one of the hardest things to admit to yourself is that a person you’ve been seeing for a long time isn’t the person for you. You may have known it from the start of the relationship, but didn’t want to hurt any feelings. The thing is, the longer you wait, the harder it will be. While you’re dating, you’re testing out different people to find the right one for you. If you discover that you’re with the wrong person, the best thing you can do is stop. It’s only fair to yourself and to your partner.
By avoiding these most common mistakes, you’ll be much more certain to have a happy relationship. It will meet your needs and those of your partner. It will also last much longer, and through many more obstacles.